Writing your own personalized wedding vows can be a daunting task and may not be quite easy, but it will worth it once you are at the altar. Here are few steps that you can follow to help you write your own wedding vows.

1 Ensure you check if you are authorized to write your own vows. Talk to your officiant and make sure he/she is okay with personalized vows and if there are any restrictions with wording. You’ll also want to make sure that your spouse also wants to do it!

2 Discuss and agree on the style with your Fiancé. Do you prefer humoristic, poetic or more romantic vows? Will they be similar style or both completely different? Will you write them together or separately? Will you keep them secret until the ceremony or will you be sharing them with each other before?

3 Read some vows example, passages of poetry, love stories, listen to songs…to get some inspiration. Then, start writing down your own thoughts. Take some time to reflect on your Fiancé to get inspired and ask yourself questions: Why did you decide to get married? What marriage means to you? What did you think when you first saw your Fiancé? When did you realize you were in love? What qualities do you love in your Fiancé? What do you miss most when you are both apart? How do you see your future together?…

4 It is a good idea to include promises, as they are the most important part, after all they are vows! Have at least one general promise and one more specific to the two of you.

5 You want to personalize your vows so it needs to sound like you and relate to your relationship so write from your heart. Try to structure them, so for example you could: Affirm your love, praise your partner, offer promises and close with a final vow.

6 Keep it short and avoid including any personal anecdotes or jokes that could cause offence during the ceremony. Your family and friends are witnessing the exchange of your vows so the last thing you want on your special day is to have all eyes on you for the wrong reason! You can always ask a friend to read it to ensure it is alright.

7 Before your big day, prepare yourself as many times as possible. Read your vows outloud, this is very important, as what has been written on paper may not sound the same when spoken loudly in front of a crowd. So practice, practice, practice…and each time, you will find a better way to say them, you may cut out long sentences, change few words for better ones…

8 It is best to avoid sentences you can hardly pronounce or read, cross-outs…Make a clean copy for yourself, write them in a neat way on a paper/card that matches your color theme. Remember, you are being watched and photographed or videographed on your wedding day so it will show in your photos or video! Also, it might worth checking with your celebrant if he/she will be okay to continue reading your vows in case you are too emotional to do so!